Following:If I look back I am lost
I know i’m in Yucaipa when I pull into the driveway with jack in the box, because they’re all that’s open at 10:30, and the first audible word I hear from the neighbor talking next door is “nine-millimeter”
I’ll be in Yucaipa to housesit for two weeks starting on the 25th. Commuting to work should be interesting- there will be a lot of singing David Bowie and Supertramp songs.
In a year I’ve become one of those supposedly lizard-brained weird office adult-like persons who answer phones for various women with various vaginal and/or pregnancy-related issues in a tastefully scripted and automatic feminine voice that I would never use in any other context while doing paperwork or other icky things that the average tumblrite would perform for a week before suffering some ego-centered existential crisis over until rationalizing their work as being for the greater good of women, which is exactly what I have done, except I am a cis-gendered ambiguously heterosexual male who just likes it when reps bring us BJ’s pizza, wings and salad on Wednesdays while they talk about cord blood banking and why you should totally do it in case your spawn gets cerebral palsy or something. So, now I’m going to talk about work because work is life and life is work and this is America so you better deal with it.
My coworker leaving in May was a bit of a blessing in disguise. Other than the doctor, we were the only two dudes working at the office, and as such, a platonic male acquaintanceship grew out of our shared time in our windowless administrative office. When he was sixteen, he apparently had one of those lifted bro-trucks with the big knobby wheels which at one time found itself on the hood of another guy’s truck at a party. His dad was FURIOUS. For reference, when I was sixteen I listened to a lot of organ jazz and simultaneously did my calculus homework while growing drugs in a hidden space in a Garry’s Mod server so that I could buy a metallic-orange Lotus Elise and run people over with it. As such, we mutually agreed that had we both gone to the same high school at the same time, we totally would not have been bros and would have only crossed paths during PE or something like that. Now, as a 23 year-old MBA graduate with a heart for Jesus-related tattoos and a Jesus-loving girlfriend attending a private Jesus school, he now appeared a relatively matured and sociable young adult. At the office his primary responsibility was ordering IUDs, injections, and miscellaneous things such as pessaries. He was also responsible for organizing our cosmetic parties, coordinating with outside parties for things like advertising, office renovation, taking inventory of supplies, etc, amongst other miscellaneous managerial-type work, as well as basic office work like answering phones. All of this seemed very appropriate for an ambitious MBA graduate and he seemed very confident in his work, although he frequently complained about his wage, which I found laughable given his revealed spending habits sprinkled throughout our work chatter. After working with us for over a year he obtained a new job and his workload was distributed mostly between myself and my manager who relocated to our location, and I took-over the ordering of medications.
After doing this job for two months, I’ve come to realize that he had absolutely no fucking idea what the fuck he was doing. For my first few weeks, learning the process consumed a majority of my time- My introduction was a one-day crash-course at the end of his final two weeks that only covered a fraction of all the necessary work, and I had to figure a lot out by trial-and-error. Today the associated responsibilities consume about 10-15 hours of my time a week. In retrospect, instead of following-up with pharmacies on a bi-daily basis to keep track of orders, he would wait until the day before a patient’s appointment before needlessly flipping the fuck out and acting like a tough-ass on the phone, arguing with people who have already had their lives ruined by bad choices like marriage and children. Eventually he would come to terms with the fact that Accredo shipping anything overnight is the type miracle that would undeniably prove God’s existence in this Universe (Which is why you politely call them every other day). This mismanagement would result in situations for our patients that, at the present, would permanently scar my ego to a greater degree than the self-inflicted psychedelic horror of AX2013. At his arguably lowest point, we had no Rhogam at our office, and a patient had to be sent to the ER for it. An OB/GYN office with no Rhogam is quite possibly the third most embarrassing thing below having no clean speculums or ThinPrep specimen containers.
The overtime is sort-of nice, though.
Anyway, my mother watches my great-grandmother on Wednesdays, and my dad apparently gave her an old laptop to use there and set-up a NetZero account. I started wondering how the hell we managed living with dial-up before I quickly remembered that everyone is totally mining every last bit of data, which dial-up simply cannot handle. My mom just wants to play on Pogo though so she should be fine.
This morning, as my alarm woke me up and I raised my half-asleep arm, I reached a little too far and knocked a small glass of water over and onto my phone. In a panic I ripped the battery out of the thing and dried it out. That set the tone for the rest of the day, which I have accepted and embraced, culminating in the form of a long and possibly unnecessary tumblr post that two people might skim through.
I had a moment of clarity on Saturday and realized a solution to one of my most longstanding issues. The solution involves drafting a lengthy and specific essay, which I will begin crafting in due time. I will not go into anymore specifics regarding that issue in-particular but I have realized that I do have a measurable degree of control over my life, and that while my self-development as a human being might appear to myself to be advancing at a glacial pace despite alarming time dilation, I am growing every day and have the perspective and power to shape my life in innumerable ways.
Mastodon - Cut You Up With A Linoleum Knife (from Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters, 2007)
i sing along to this album mostly with my hands in the air or on my chest ive noticed